the diagnosis

I was diagnosed with adhd and dyslexia at the end of third grade. Many people often wonder how that diagnosis came about well I'm here to tell you just that. I am the fifth child in my family, I have 4 older and 5 younger siblings. Every day in my house was like a new adventure you never knew what was gonna happen. Growing up I was always out and about, yes i did sit down and watch movies and things but I was also outside a lot.

Not gonna lie I do not remember much of kindergarten, well except throwing a fit every time my parents had to drop me off, otherwise nothing. For Preschool and Kindergarten I went to three different schools but by first grade, we found the school I would be at till high school.

For first grade, I mostly remember having to sit in the back and sitting out a recess because I would get in trouble for disrupting. Now second and third is where things got a little more complicated. In the second grade, I remember screaming my lungs off all the time in my classroom. I had basically a permanent "time out" spot. I very rarely enjoyed a full recess, and well the principal knew me by heart. During this time was when we started to learn to read and kept track of it. At my school we had levels of reading, it started with apple then blue, yellow, orange, and so on.

Third grade was when my whole world was turned upside down. Not only was I getting in trouble basically every day but I also was not learning as fast as the others. I was really behind in learning and while my classmates were on the 4th and 5th levels of reading I was still barely getting out of the first. Everyone just assumed that it was due to me always getting in trouble and that i never had the time or care to learn but it was so much more than that. In April of third grade when my being so behind got too out of control, my parents and the people at my school decided to see if there was something behind all of it.

I remember instead of going to school one day in that April I was taken to the doctor. From there I was put in a room and tested all day, and when I say all day I mean from 8 am-5 pm. Some of the tests included being shown many things and having to remember them, another was having to spell words they showed me, and many others that I can't recall. But the one I remember the most is being sat down in front of a computer and having to click whenever I saw a certain thing pop up. I remember this one very vividly because I would get bored of looking at the screen or I wanted to play another so-called "game." Remember I was in third grade at the time so I really had no idea what was actually going on.

After that I mean it did take a little while to get the results but at age 8 I was diagnosed with adhd and dyslexia. I don't remember everything that happened following that but I did get put on medication. I started seeing a psychiatrist and taking a stimulant so I wouldn't be "so out of control." And let me tell you fourth-grade man I strived. That was overall my best year of school I even made it on the honor roll that year. But let me tell you that was just a really good start to a lifelong challenge in school.

40% of children diagnosed with adhd are also diagnosed with a learning disability, I was part of that 40%. While getting diagnosed with adhd I was also diagnosed with dyslexia. There are many types of dyslexia as for me it affects the way i see letters, numbers, and even the way I talk. The minute i was diagnosed with dyslexia I was put with a tutor. So not only did I have to sneak away at lunch to take my medicine but I also would miss mass, recess, and pe to get tutored. I got tutored till the summer going into my freshmen year of high school. And yes even after all the extra tutoring school year after school year and summer after summer I still struggle majorly with reading and spelling.

Literally one of the things I will always hate is reading out loud. The high school I graduated from we read a lot there and I mean a lot and not just a lot we read like very challenging texts such as Shakespeare and Homer. In one of the classes my senior year we read a lot in class and this was the class I absolutely dreaded. I did get a lot better I mean at first whenever I would have to do anything in front of the class i would have a panic attack but as time went on I read. But what never changed is when reading in class and a word I didn't know (which was a lot) came up you could tell I didn't know it because instead of the word the only thing that came out of my mouth was mumbo jumbo.

Even though I am on medication and got tutored year after year, adhd and dyslexia are still a huge part of my life. Just because I do take medicine does not mean i am "fixed." I will always have adhd. My brain will forever be on a run with no destination.